[Part 10] Lust In Church

(October 4, 2009)

I attended church with some YWAM friends this Sunday.

Aside from being an entirely mediocre experience, I found myself really struggled with lust during the service. Almost every guy in the congregation was attractive.

They all had the hipster style down to a "t". Extra long v-neck shirts that show too much skin on every side, the coolest haircuts, tight pants that are cut way too low, etc.

There was even this one guy who was up on stage in the worship team who seemed super awkward because he was all muscles and nothing much else. He was super distracting for me.

The only thing I could do was invite the Holy Spirit into the midst of my struggles. I'm not sure how biblical that is or what but I just feel like it's the next step in breaking down the great walls of compartmentalization I've established in my life.

Instead of trying to face these temptations alone, away from the Holy Spirit, I've decided to give him complete access to my life, to be there and go through my darkest hours along with me.

The whole thing sounds sort of mystical or wonky but the main thing is that I'm learning to trust him. I'm no longer hiding from him in the closet and then coming out when I'm bleeding.

In my mind, it's like deciding to let others see you when you're getting drunk, high, strung out, etc.

So, if nothing else, I learned to take steps towards transparency and honesty at church this last Sunday. How's that for progress?!