[Part 7] A Process

(September 24, 2009)

I'm officially one month away from going home, which makes it the 24th, and today just so happened to be a pretty great day! I had an awesome first 11am Bible study in (the slums) where (Isaiah) talked about “judging others.” I felt there was a lot of truth exchanged and a recognition that everything starts with our realization of how God loves, forgives and transforms us.

These three areas are strongly in play around my struggles with homosexuality. I have to recognize who he is in each of these areas and I'm only just learning how to do this, only just beginning to experience it, to walk in it.

God loves me as his very own child. He's my heavenly Father who will never abandon me. Nothing can ever separate me from his love.

God's forgiveness of my sin is infinite and final. His grace is sufficient. There's no amount of work or earning I can do, this is a gift because of his love for me.

God is faithful to carry out his work into completion. He's a father that cares enough to bring about change for my life. His work is specific and custom fit for me. He renews my thoughts, my mind, my attractions.

So the phrase, “sanctification is a process” has been thrown around quite a bit lately along with, “I'm only human.” I think I need to ponder on these for awhile longer.

...

“God...”
“Yes, son?”
“How long is 'a process?' ”
“Well, my timing is perfect”
“Yeah, I know, but...”
“But it helps if you're obedient to my prompting...”
“Ok, I want to be but my brokenness makes openness hard”
“That's why I'm calling you to place your hand in mine and trust me”
“... I'm trying... I want to... but... ahhh... I want to!”
“ 'The God of Heaven and Earth has the power to redeem and restore your life.' Do you believe that?”
“Yes, but give me faith so as not to doubt!”