(October 28, 2009)
Mark your calendars because today was an epic fail.
Naturally, this is also the day/morning I was planning on going back to (my home church) for the first time in almost a year. I always know just the right time to screw up royally!
The results are clear:
I've stumbled in a very big way tonight and I have nobody to blame but myself. I haven't been in the Word since I (left the last country to return home). I haven't invited the presence of the Holy Spirit into the start of my day since that time either. I haven't even thought about putting on the armor of God or claiming purity over my life. (These are all spiritual disciplines I've been challenging myself to work on)
Instead, I've...
Entertained every sinful fantasy in San Francisco.
Walked so close to the edge that I was bound to fall.
Become a hypocrite in the highest degree.
But in the midst of this...
I'm going to shake off the past.
Walk in rapid repentance.
Live under God's promise for my life.
Let go of the wheel and give control back over to the Holy Spirit.
And I'm not going...
to listen to Satan's lies over my life.
Remain the same.
Sit and wallow in self misery and punishment.
“God, I confess my sins of homosexuality fantasies, pornography, lust, disobedience and masturbation. Please forgive me of these sins. I long to walk in true freedom and purity. Holy Spirit, I'm sorry for grieving you and driving you away from me. I declare my heart is open once again, even in these troubled lands. Jesus, may your blood clean away all the scarring in my heart and life. I want to trust, to love, to feel again and I can't do that apart from your love as my example. Break down the existing strongholds of sexual immorality and pornography here in this house of mine. I no longer welcome these spirits of death into my life.”
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