[Part 24] Venturing "Out" Into the World

(October 31, 2009)

http://battlingchristian.blogspot.com/2007/05/hello.html
(this was link I read late last night that really got me thinking...)

Wow, I have a shit load of stuff to talk about!

First off, God is good, he's faithful, his love abounds!

I just made it through my first official “coming out” conversations and it went better than I could ever imagine. I'm so incredibly thankful that God has placed (Ezekiel) in my life as a friend, mentor, counselor and brother.

I ended up going through a condensed version of my entire YWAM experience first but eventually I worked up the nerve to read my pre-written script to him. Ultimately it worked out for the best. There's wasn't ever an awkward pause in the dialog and (Ezekiel) was so compassionate and understanding.

Perfect love casts out all fears!
Fear of judgment, fear of hurts, fear of shame and condemnation.

And secondly, or... on the flip side, I've already become friends with the (author of “The Journey” blog). I asked (Ezekiel) if he thought that was alright to which he seemed very hesitant/cautious. Don't get me wrong, I totally understand his concerns but, at this point in my life, I think I have to take a chance on this one.

But his concerns have definitely caused me to think about the motivation or purpose behind this entire relationship. I need to ask (Diakonos) his intentions and what he thinks this relationship will accomplish. Also, I want to talk open and honestly about my struggle and what that looks like for him in his life as well.

I think one of the things I'm looking for is understanding in the sense that I'm not alone in this world. I'm not the only one going through this sort of situation. I'm not insane!

Ok, so it was potentially a lot to talk about but realistically I'm just excited to be at this point in my life. I've never thought I'd come this far so obviously God is faithful. He's working his plan and it's bigger than anything I could have ever planned.

(November 2, 2009)

Last night and into this morning I talked with (Diakonos) for the very first time on the phone. That ended up being an amazing 3 hour conversation!

Just like my conversation with (Ezekiel), there's so much to say but I'm worn out emotionally on the morning after. All this honestly and transparency is definitely draining on my energy banks.